SLOPPY SECONDS

Social media has a way of telling beautiful stories, but it usually isn’t the full story.

And I have to be honest, that is one of the things I love about it. I love that I have a digital platform, a public journal where I can share important moments and sweet memories with friends and family – and even more importantly, have these thoughts, memories and beliefs available and accessible to my children as they get older. That is the number one reason why I am sharing thoughts about my daughters, what I pray for and over them and what I believe for them! So that if and when I’m gone, they have physical documentation of exactly how deeply I loved them and what I believed about them.

But we all know social media isn’t the full story. Which in my mind, is ok and actually preferred. In my opinion some things are meant to be private. Some memories, hardships or “messes” are never meant to be shared with the world. Some are meant to be dealt with among close family and friends, some just in your marriage, and some just in your home.

But with that whole idea of social media not telling the whole story, it also doesn’t show the context of the story. And that’s what I want to focus on in this blog post: to share a little bit of our family’s “context”.

It’s easy to stumble upon my Instagram or blog and see the good things – the things that look like they may have come easily for us. Our home. Our daughters. Our marriage. It’s easy to quickly judge or assume we (or other people) just got dealt a good card and have had it pretty easy.

I honestly can’t sit here and say that we have had it hard. There are certainly many many more people that have come from much more difficult homes and circumstances than we have.

But what I can say, is that if you looked at either Kyle’s life or my life and our pasts, we would not be the world’s “first pick”. We would be considered “sloppy seconds”.

You see, Kyle and I have both made a lot of decisions when we were younger that we are not proud of. Even thinking about them makes us cringe and want to hide under a rock. We both wish we could change those poor choices, fix the people we hurt and go back and do things differently. And it is so easy for us to get stuck in a place of shame and regret.

But here is what I know: our past choices do not have to determine our future ones. Our shortcomings in the past do not have to set the trajectory for our future successes. We can choose differently, and walk in freedom when we are willing to face our poor choices head-on, ask for forgiveness and walk in freedom.

Because here is the beautiful thing – though we may be considered sloppy seconds to the world, we are God’s first choice. 

I say all this because it’s easy to look at my feed and see pretty things, and assume it’s always been like that. But I want you to know, it hasn’t always been pretty. We have worked hard on our relationship and marriage, forgiven ourselves and each other and choose daily to walk in freedom instead of shame. God has fully redeemed us, and it has nothing to do with the fact that we do (or don’t!) deserve it – but instead it has everything to do with how good God is.

I don’t know where you are or your heart is right now as you read this, but can I just encourage you that if you feel at all like sloppy seconds, please know that you are not. You are God’s first choice, today and every day. 

As our girls get older I look forward to sharing some of these mistakes with them, in hopes to encourage them to choose different, learn from our shortcomings and mistakes, and go farther than we ever will.

So just know – even though the social media pages may be pretty, it isn’t the full story. And that’s ok! But I wanted to share a little more of ours with you in hopes to encourage you!

And if you read this whole post, thank you. This is me sharing my heart and to know even one person may read it and be encouraged makes it all worth it.

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